


Awry

by iduna



Series: Whose Stupid Idea Was This, Anyway? [9]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Awkwardness, Conversations, Fluff, Gen, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-19 00:25:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17591270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iduna/pseuds/iduna
Summary: An awkward situation leads to an awkward conversation and one character admits, at least to himself, that he likes another one...This is just a bit of humor. Why would a mage ask Cullen about Templar stuff. This is one reason.





	Awry

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to IncreasingLight for her excellent Beta. Any mistakes are because I didn't listen to her very fine advice.

“Herald, if I might have a moment of your time, please.”

If Carys had been going anywhere but a meeting with Ambassador Montilyet, she would have tried to evade the question. Pretended not to hear the softly spoken request. At that moment, when faced with the certainty of chastisement by the diplomat, or a quiet conversation with the Spymaster, she chose the latter. Death by shiv seemed preferable to wishing for death and having it denied.

Carys answered, “Of course, Sister. I’m sure that Lady Montilyet will understand the delay. What do you need of me?”

“We can do this later,” Leliana said. “If you prefer.”

“Speaking with you, or getting a dressing down by the Headmistress? Hmmm, I’ll choose you. Thanks for asking.”

Leliana laughed, he soft chuckle seeming out of place in the gloom of her tent.

“Headmistress. Is this a school? Have you been naughty? What have you done wrong, this time? Did you take Cassandra’s reading material?”

“I believe that was Sera. The pleasure she gets from goading the Seeker is almost obscene. I’ll take the blame, though. I have a feeling that any punishment handed out in that direction will just escalate hostilities. It’s worth a ruler to the knuckles to keep that from happening.” Carys shrugged. “I don’t even know what I do wrong when I get called in there. She’s usually just angry that I don’t play well with others. Or she’s confused as to why I don’t like Viv.”

“I believe,” the Nightingale started, “It’s because the First Enchanter is the only one that isn’t called by her title. Josie mistakes that for intimacy.”

The mage rolled her eyes. “Seriously? Vivienne hates it when I use her name. She likes to think she’s special because she beds Bastien de Ghislain and scares Orlesian Nobles. Neither are accomplishments.

“Orlesian Nobles will hump anything that will put up with it, and they scare easily. A few sparks from the fingertips and they shit themselves. What she does is purely pedestrian, and I’m not going to reward her for it. When next the Ambassador asks, I shall tell her that. Perhaps she’ll listen.”

That earned a laugh from Leliana. “Tell me if it works. I doubt it will. She thinks that we should all get along, but it will likely distract her from the very polite tongue lashing.”

Leliana continued. “I spoke with the Commander today. I wanted to ask, what did you do to him this time? I said your name and he turned an alarming shade of magenta. I thought he was having some sort of seizure. Then he ran out of here like he was being hunted by a demon. I take it that you, ahem, disagreed about something. Again.”

Carys looked down and shuffled her feet. “About that. It wasn’t a disagreement… really. I didn’t even say anything. It was just a bit of awkward.  I don’t know why, exactly, but… He seemed upset by it.”

Leliana sat and indicated a chair in front of her. “Care to indulge in a few more details? Things become more difficult if he can’t even hear your name without running.”

Sighing, Carys started. “In Ostwick, there were no locks on the doors. A knock just meant that someone was about to open it. There wasn’t any privacy.

“Anyway, he knocked, then he knocked again. I yelled for whoever it was to just come in already and he did.”

“And… There must be more to it than that. Entering a room doesn’t generally put Cullen in such a state.”

“Well, I wasn’t completely dressed at the time. I had on smalls, it’s not like I was naked or anything. A man that looks like that shouldn’t be so flustered if he gets a look at tits and ass. You’d think he’s never seen a naked woman before.”

Leliana started laughing quietly.

“Do you think he prefers men? That would explain it.” Carys continued. “He said he didn’t take vows of chastity, so I assumed…”

“Wait,” the spymaster interjected. “You asked him about…”

“Lady Montilyet said that I should get to know him. So, I went to talk to him and asked about Templars. I mean, I already knew, but I thought that…”

Leliana was laughing. Hard. The chair was rocking back and forth on the uneven ground, and Carys reached out, steadying it, fearing it would topple over. Slowly, the mirth slowed, as she gasped for air. She looked at Carys, saw the look of confusion on her face, and it began again.

Wiping the tears from her eyes, the Nightingale tried to explain.

“Cullen is,” she started, “Fereldan.”

Seeing that Carys was no close to understanding than before, she continued. “He generally thinks that such things should be private. They tend to use euphemisms to describe things regarding sex. The King of Ferelden once referred to oral sex as ‘licking a lamppost in winter.’ I suspect that asking Cullen about it straight out was somewhat… disconcerting to him. Seeing you _en deshabille_ probably shocked him.”

Carys shook her head. “Really? How in the Void did he survive in a Circle for that long? For Fuck’s sake, walking quietly into a stairwell would have been traumatizing him for him. Of course, he was a Templar, all that armor, you could probably hear him coming from a league away. Still… it had to have happened at least once.” She sighed. “I’ll talk to him. If he starts running when he sees me, you’re going to have to tell the Ambassador why we don’t have a Commander anymore. I’m not taking the blame for this. We’re clear on that, right?”

“I promise,” Leliana said, putting her hand to her heart, “That I shall protect you from the wrath of Josie. Now, go on. It’s not going to get any easier later.”

As Carys walked away, Leliana signaled to one of her agents to follow. She wanted to know how this conversation went.

 

Cullen was sitting beside the small table in the cabin he shared with Rylen. Normally, he preferred to keep his work confined to the Command tent outside the gate, but the noise from the drilling soldiers was distracting him more than usual. It wasn’t the soldiers that were distracting him, but it didn’t make it easier for him to work. What happened this morning was going to have to be dealt with, he just wasn’t sure how to approach it.

Walking in on the Herald in a state of undress was unfortunate. It recalled things that were probably better left unthought of for the moment. He hadn’t been with anyone in a long time and, if he were said to have a type, Carys Trevelyan fit it.

He purposely turned his mind from the events of the morning to supply lines. Considering the gains made by the Herald in the field, they needed to be revised, and honestly, thinking about them were less unsettling than thoughts of the Herald herself.

When the knock on the door came, he yelled enter without thinking. Looking up, he saw the Herald in the doorway, framed by light. _For the love of the Maker, get a grip,_ he thought to himself as he rose from his seat.

“My Lady,” he stammered. “Is there something you need?”

“I wanted to apologize, Commander, for earlier.” Carys quietly closed the door and walked to the center of the room. “Privacy wasn’t a concern… growing up. We didn’t have locks on the doors and, well, that’s not important. It didn’t occur to me that you would be offended by, well, me… in small clothes. It’s not something I thought about. I should be more careful about things like that.”

Cullen wasn’t sure what to say. “I’m not sure that…”

“I get enough lectures from the Seeker about propriety when we’re on the road. That woman has more hang ups than a Chantry Sister. At least when it comes to me. I’m supposed to be chaste, and pure, and above reproach. Bull and Sera telling dirty jokes around me sends her into a tizzy. It’s probably why they do it. I can only imagine what she’d say if… “

Carys stopped, noticing that Cullen was staring at her like she was insane.

“Anyway, I’m sorry you were offended by my bare ass, and I promise I’ll learn to use the lock on my door. Sera and Varric promised to help me learn to pick them anyway, so… Shit. This isn’t going well, is it? I had it planned out in my head and, well, this wasn’t it.”

“I would hope this wasn’t your plan,” Cullen smirked. “If it was, we need to do some remedial work on strategy.”

The Herald of Andraste laughed, and suddenly things were better.

“That’s fair enough. Bull says I suck at planning anyway. I really am sorry that… that you were uncomfortable. I just forget that things are different out here.”

Carys took a few steps toward the door, then turned back to look at him.

“If you don’t mind, can we not tell the Ambassador about this? I suspect that, like the Seeker, she’d feel the need to administer a stern lecture on propriety, and I really don’t want that. Lesson learned and forget it ever happened. Please? You don’t have to lie, just… don’t volunteer the information.”

“I think I can do that, My lady. It’s not something that should get around in any case. We can consider it handled.”

Carys smiled again. “Thank you, Commander. I appreciate it. Before I go, do you need any more of the headache tincture? I have some, but I wanted to go annoy Aden. He hates it when I’m there, ‘messing with his equipment.’ I can make more. It might even keep me out of trouble for an hour or two.”

Smiling, Cullen replied. “I have enough for now, Thank you. If you want to make more, I would be grateful.”

With that, she walked out the door. Cullen walked over and sat down heavily on the bed. He put his head in his hands and sighed. “She’s going to be the death of me. I don’t even think I’ll mind.”

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, for context. Most people put Cullen in a tent. Strategically that makes no sense. Command personnel always lived inside the walls, not outside. So, in my Haven, Cullen shares a cabin with Rylen. As you're looking at the Herald's cabin, his is to the left. 
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments. Don't make me beg. I will. It will be embarrassing for all of us. Don't make me go there.


End file.
